It’s 4:15 am and I’m wide awake because the fiance is away for work this weekend and I have gotten used to sleeping wrapped up in him. I was restless all day and basically spent all my time watching Dexter again (all of season 1). When I got dizzy from all the watching, I decided to catch up with one of the girls in my large circle of friends. Let’s call her Giggles, coz you know, she giggles a lot. She’s my only friend who giggles. The rest of my friends are called Fartsypants and Booyarang. There’s perfectly valid reasons behind those names. I swear.
But I digress. I have to talk about Giggles.
You see, G is a fun girl. She went on a trip to Amritsar all by herself. She is learning to dance. She is learning to play the guitar. She quit a well-paying easy-peasy job to work for a startup so she could learn more. And she’s open about sex and masturbation. See where I’m going with this? She does all the things that I have on my to-do-while-you’re-still-single list. I have been single for three years now, and all I have been able to accomplish is dancing with a stranger. And he wasn’t even a stranger.
Anyway. G was finally getting tired of her work-from-home job, and was super excited when a consultant asked for her profile. G complied and clearly specified the kind of job she was looking for. Over a few email exchanges and gtalk sessions, the two girls really bonded. The consultant became more and more friendly, and at some point they had a conversation like this:
Consultant: Hey, I think you’re nice coz you share your name with my bestie.
Giggles: *giggles* Really? Awww….. how sweeet! Now I know that my profile will get special attention from you!!!!!
Consultant: You betcha! My friend studied at <some inconsequential college>. Where did you study.
Giggles: *Bitch please. you have my resume* I studied <degree> at <college name> and started working at <resume summary>. <Now it’s only polite to ask you the same question so> what about you?
Consultant: You know I worked with a bank for 7 years but now I’m a model and air hostess and even though a lot of air hostesses get banged by pilots, I only gave in once. Oh, and I’m also a consultant.
Giggles: *gasp!* <awkward silence>
Consultant (?): Uh oh! I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Maybe it’s coz you have the same name as my best friend *swoon*. Please don’t judge me!
Giggles: Awww, you inappropriate creepy girl! I can totally kick your ass now, but let me keep being nice to you. You know, just for fun!
Consultant (?): I don’t wanna spoil you. You’re not like Delhi girls. Delhi girls are whores. How old are you btw? Can you send me some of your pics?
Giggles: Oh, but who says I’m not already spoiled?
Consultant (?): Talking of spoiled, let’s talk about food. I like food. Especially when it’s dirty. I like eating. Men. Do you?
Giggles: Hey, I lived in a girls’ hostel so I didn’t get to eat men. I had to make do with women.
Consultant (?): Awesomesauce. Let’s talk about that in detail.
Let’s just say at this point, Giggles decided to play along and a lot of hanky was pankied. After a four-hour session of steamy sexting, she called it a night. A week later, the creepy consultant pinged her again from “Bang cock.” (That’s how she spelled it. I swear!) In Giggles’ own words, “Dude… she wanted to take me out… watch me sway to music.. wants to force me while we are in a mall… N then take me home n tongue fuck all night…”
That creeped giggles out, and she stopped responding. Then the creepy consultant stalked the shit out of her email and Facebook. Giggles gave me the dirty details today, which I hope I’ll be able to post here later. What fun!
Have you ever played along with someone like this, knowing that it might actually be a scam? Have you ever lied to people for cyber-sex?