of re-membering

Less than an hour after you’ve published your first post, you’re wondering if it’s too soon to write again. Maybe it is. If people knew who you were, they would totally judge you; but the truth is they don’t, so you can forgive yourself for feeling almost smug as you start typing.

You love, love, love being able to say whatever you want. You’ve never felt this liberated before!

So you make a list of things you can finally talk about:

  • What a coward you are! You still smile nervously when you run into your cousins, but do not have the courage to tell them you remember.
  • How fiercely protective you have been of your nieces; you won’t even let them sit in your husband’s lap.
  • How you really feel about all the men you’ve been with, and the women you fancied.
  • How you didn’t know how to pronounce chic until, like, two weeks ago.
  • You real first kiss. The one nobody knows about.
  • The real reason why your marriage broke up.

Here you choke. Warm, wet inhibitions begin to flow through your eyes and you cry like you have never cried before.

Maybe someday you will write a book about the mess that has been your life.

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Published by

anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

7 thoughts on “of re-membering”

  1. Maybe someday you really should write that story. Something that oscillates between the dark side and a lighter vein with equanimity! I would love to read it!

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    1. It is through anonymity that I finally found my voice. Being able to talk about my life without fear of judgment has also changed me in small little ways as a person outside of this blog, which is perfect.

      But I wish the journey didn’t have to involve being afraid of society!

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  2. Alas! there is so much to share and no one to listen but blogging is the nicest thing I think. One really feels liberated. Blogger community is so nice, comforting and encouraging.

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