of good hosts

So this one time, you invite muskill-man and his petite wife over for a dinner-and-movie-double-date. You spend the day scrubbing-things-over-and-over-until-everything-sparkles and cooking a four course meal, tasting everything over and over again to make sure it’s perfect. You learned this from years of training in the kitty-party culture that your mom swore by. You’re cranky because the boyfriend is taking too long to get things organized in the living room and making a mess everywhere he goes.

You send him off on random get-this-from-the-market errands every couple of hours. You’re thankful that he’s very bulliable when you’re all worked up and need him to be obedient. Once in a while he drops into the kitchen and offers to help so you can take a break, to which the Crankenstein in you responds with a glare.

Okay, so soon it’s evening, and you’re all set to entertain. You put on a comfortable jumpsuit and nag the boyfriend to change. You want both of you to look your best. You wonder if has anything to do with all the touchy-feely you did with them earlier.

So they arrive, right on time. You spend some time talking about general stuff, sipping your wine, feeling happy and just a little bit tipsy.

Then your eye wanders to her earrings. So tacky, you whisper to the boyfriend.  He looks bewildered and gestures for you to stop, but you’re giggling, like a lot.

The petite wife asks what you’re talking about, and you say, Your earrings. The boyfriend suddenly looks pale. I love your earrings. I had the exact same pair and I lost it while we were making out in the car one night. I just remembered.

The lie slips out easily and without effort. Nothing will ruin this evening!

Published by


Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

8 thoughts on “of good hosts”

Say something. You know you want to!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s