I got the following comment yesterday from a fellow Indian sister, who seemed particularly upset with my post on masturbation.
Indian girls doesnt do mastebation. Only immoral and shameless girls like you who writes about personel things on net. you are also living with a boy without any marrige shame on you. you are dirting our name of Indian girls . you are going to hell……………………
Ah! Abida, Abida! Do you see what they have turned you into? A subservient head-shaking passive object staring at the ceiling fan when your man is doing his business.
Pray, tell me this. Since you’ve so vehemently argued in your email that Indian girls don’t masturbate, allow me to ask you this: do they have sex? Please tell me you’re not shaking your head right now because I used a dirty word.
Sex isn’t dirty. Masturbation isn’t dirty. Well, unless it is dirty, if you know what I mean.
And have you ever had an orgasm? And no, it’s not the feeling you get when you’re scrubbing floors or doing the laundry or taking your husband’s shoes off his feet and washing them with rose water and he looks at you approvingly. And no, god won’t punish you if you have one. Would your mom grudge your using a sewing machine she gave you at your wedding?
Seriously. Go wash your face. And then go get a life.
*rolls eyes*
Anawnimiss 
Hello, I am an Indian woman from India, I know many Indian girls who masturbate. All are humans, all have sex drive more or less. Unfortunately, many won’t confess this because of their dogmatic point of views.
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Thank you for acknowledging, Mou, that Indian women can be sexually motivated, and that does automatically imply that they are loose or available. And strange that you use the word “confess”, and even stranger that the only other word I’m able to put in the same context is “admit”. As though we’re talking about the confession of a crime and admission of guilt! See what I mean?
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I used the word confess because society in India is not open to sexual drives especially if it is that of women. And yes, there are many moral judges roaming here who make it almost impossible for a woman to convey the truth. The result is that many of them would do it secretly and would also perceive themselves as sinful so, for them it is more of a confession than admittance.
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You hit the nail on its head. This is exactly what I mean! And I consider myself better off because I can admit openly to masturbation, sex, and a live in relationship. Yet I can’t think of a better word.
Damn!
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Yes, situation of women in west is a lot better than here. Here many women don’t know the meaning of freedom and allow exploitation/suppression considering it as some eternal truth or fate.
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*sigh*
waiting for the world to change!
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Well said! Not only is her critique offensive, it is also unfounded!
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I don’t think it’s a critique at all. It just makes me sad.
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Even in the United States there are plenty of areas where discussion of such things are taboo. We “talk” about sex a lot in this country. I feel we are so hypocritical. There are the extreme right wing Christians who would rather women go back to barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and sexual pleasure should be for men only. I mean what the heck. The problem is there are so many women who “feel” the same way because that is all they know. The other end of the spectrum leaves women exploited and feeling as if they don’t behave or look sexual then they are less than women. It would be nice if men and women could come to the understanding that sexual pleasure is for both men and women. There is nothing wrong with sexual expression as long as it is healthy and consensual on both parts or on your own singular part. 😀
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It’s sad how our instant response to what we don’t want to hear is denial. I wish people would stop being so foolish!
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Hipocrisy is the name of the game I think, talking masturbation or sex is taboo but making 4 babies isn’t it?. I don’t understand when will they grow up! I have come across many such views myself and now i conclude my telling myself it a world where all kinds of species exist and its easier to ignore than argue! Go girl, I echo your views!
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I find it very unsettling that women are more willing to live a life of sexual servitude. That upsets me way more than anything else, you know!
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A book and movie that has affected me my whole adult life when it comes to women and society is the Handmaiden’s Tale. The situation in the book where, due to infections, birth control, environmental factors the number of births plummeted. The human race was on the way to dying out. Women who can have children are reduced to producing babies for the rich and wealthy who cannot. They have no identity other than being baby incubators and pleasure receptors for men. They cannot masturbate, they cannot have sex with anyone other than dictated by the rules. Their babies are taken from them the moment they are born and the woman is shipped away to another family to reproduce. And the fault could never be the man’s. This is interesting because I watched a reality show on the Islamic faith and a couple who was having trouble conceiving asked if the husband could get tested as the tests were inconclusive for her. The Imam said absolutely not. If there was no conception it was the woman’s fault and there must be sin in her life for God to deny her. But then I saw an episode of a show concerning the ultra conservative christian movement and there was the same stupid ideology!!! OMG!!!
The whole premise of that book terrifies me. What terrified me even more is the fact that other women went along with it. It based the whole situation of fundamentalist/extremist views of a conservative movement that took over the government. But boy…that just seems like there are too many “signs” that that could happen. Even in an “enlightened” society.
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That story is disturbing on so many levels!
*shudder*
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For people like that: If you don’t like what you read, there’s a little red cross on the top-right corner of your screen, which when clicked takes the “dirty” thing away from you! Phew! What would they do when someone screams “sex” and “masturbation” on their face like this:
On another note – Isn’t it commendable she knows what masturbation is?
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OMG, there are schools that need to see this video!!!!! LOL…..SEX!!! makes babies!!! Let’s teach them how to have safe sex and have NO babies!!!
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I can’t decide if the comment is disturbing or just pathetic. We know this woman will never know the sensational activity that sex is. I’m surprised how it doesn’t come to people naturally. I have been curious about sex and masturbation since as far back as I can remember. Of course, I used to feel guilty about masturbating until I grew up and realized that I was sexually more evolved than the other girls. That made me feel so smug about myself. 😀
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I was a late bloomer. I’ve only ever been with two guys, and was married to both. I only started masturbating after the first husband expressed his shock at the fact that I had never touched myself. I remember feeling guilty the first time I did it, like I had done something seriously wrong. And I was actually one of the “liberated” women who like to experiment. Imagine how many women go through their lives without ever experiencing an orgasm. My mom may be one of those women, and it makes me so, so sad!
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I know!! And elusive that the female orgasm is, it’s imperative that we learn what works for us. I have been with just one guy, the husband. But we got into a relationship REALLY early, since I was 18, and he was 17 1/2. I know, totally calf-love. 😀 But because of the husband’s ability to have no judgments, I was completely comfortable talking about it. But can you believe that I haven’t spoken of it even to my closest freinds? They are not even the typical judgy types, but it just never comes up. 😦
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It was a bit like that for me with the first husband. We were both 22 when we met, and explored our sexuality together. No judgment, just pure, unadulterated lust. I was the more adventurous of the two, and he didn’t feel up to the kinky stuff, but I never thought he was judging me.
With Mister, I knew exactly what I wanted. He is equally crazy in bed, so it works out for us. My friends are all idiots who think sex isn’t something to bring up in a conversation, though they are perfectly ok with making jokes loaded with innuendo! Giggles is an exception. She talks!
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Han exactly! exploring it together! I hate those innuendo-loaded jokes. Ugh! Grow up and call body parts by their biological names. I cant stand jokes based entirely on using all the phallic shaped names you can think of, without once saying penis.
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