of a bumbaclot

I woke up this morning to this comment on my about page.

Subrat

Needless to say, I was pissed. Surely I wouldn’t have 180+ followers if my writing was this shallow! At first I was going to allow it to appear and reply to him in the comments section, but then I realized that my Chetan Bhagat syndrome wasn’t going to allow it and I would HAVE to write a full blown letter to whatshisface about it. So here goes:

Dear Subrat,

(Is that even your real name?)

No, I don’t know what you mean, but thank you for your “sincere suggestion” that I write like Chetan Bhagat and am an aspiring Rakhi Sawant. I will take this as a compliment for two reasons:

  1. I may find Chetan’s writing uninspiring but hell, he sells books and people make movies (and money) out of his brainfarts.
  2. Rakhi thrives on negative publicity (such as this) but thrives nonetheless. By god Jejus ki kasam, I would give my other arm and my remaining teeth to appear on Big Boss. I could get a set of sparkly white dentures with all the money. (I’d also get breast implants but that’s besides the point.)

I’m a glass-half-full person, you know! Oh but how would you know? You didn’t bother to read anything other than my posts on the bad stuff Indian girls should not be talking about. Yes sir. I’ve recently learned to decipher my stats page and have been doing my homework. Gotcha, you bumbaclot!

At this point, I’m wondering this: if I were to write more posts about divinity and how Indian women are destined to pander to the whims of the men in their lives, would you then think I’ve grown up and/or graduated? Also, what upsets you more, the fact that I have sex or that I talk about it?

In my defense (rhetorically speaking), if you were to read between the lines lines that do not contain the words “sex”, “masturbation”, and “vagina”, and “naked”, you’d realize that I also write about independence, love, heartbreak, freedom, family, and the general travails of being a single woman living alone. I write about weirdos I come across (such as yourself). I write about pain and depression and thousands of other things that your birdbrain may not be able to process.
But I don’t blame you. With your head that far up your ass and your eyes shut as tight as a camel’s ass in a sandstorm, I don’t know if you ever can. So I just hope you’ll leave me and my 180+ followers alone so I can “find solace” in my “graceful writing” through which my readers can “gather good” about me.

Really looking forward to hearing from you.  Go on, say something that actually makes sense. I challenge you!

Also, I don’t mean to nitpick but I think you meant “posts”, not “blogs.”

~ Anawn

Do you agree with this guy? Do you think I am really that bad? What was the stupidest piece of non-criticism you ever received? Have you ever left messages like this behind? I’m listening!

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anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

10 thoughts on “of a bumbaclot”

  1. Anyone called subrat or anyone who would write something like that is not worth your time. Don’t worry about it. There will always be haters. I just feel sorry for them. They win if they get to you! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sometimes I get carried away and leave comments that I wish I could go back and delete, but most people just assume I’m somebody that wandered away from the nursing home without taking my medications first. They can easily dismiss my intrusions, I hope.

    I enjoy your posts. It’s rare to read someone that can be so frank about issues and then turn it with good humor and solid points containing a positive message. That is a gift and I’m glad you share it. Topics addressed to women can enlighten men as well.

    My favorite critique was from a woman I’ve known for decades. She told me I needed an editor. It was true. My writing mechanics portray a middle school boy with a wild imagination and no skill. It did discourage me a bit. Later the heartache turned out to be gas and I got right back on my computer and cranked out another fratboy adventure as equally poor in construction as all the rest.

    I think my point would be – if I were to actually have a point – take criticism from someone you respect and all the others can simply wander around leaving little pellets of their wisdom like rabbits do.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’re funny, Willy! It isn’t as though I don’t know what to do in situations like these. i get loads of hate mail, but some people just get to me. Most of these people are the ones that think women should be tucked away in a a neat little corner of the home or hiding behind the men in their lives. That really gets to me, you know!

      Like

  3. As a woman I truly enjoy reading what you write. Your empower yourself and other women and that is important. Especially for women in cultures that look at them as second class citizens or not as citizens at all but Chattel. Good for you! And this “person” has no clue what they are talking about. I have been fortunate not to get any comments like that, but I am prepared for it. And just because I am prepared for it doesn’t mean it isn’t going to make me mad as heck, or hurt or whatever. Just let it go and move on. I think your writing is wonderful.

    Like

    1. Thank you Pavanneh. This means a lot to me. In India, most women are subjugated. Even the ones that think they are liberated. It’s sad, really. I think I’m lucky to have broken free and certainly hope others can do so too!

      Liked by 1 person

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