of the time I checked out my naked attacker

I know I know, it’s been a while and you’ve forgotten all about the naked attacker. Here’s something to jog your memory:

Then suddenly, someone snuck up on me and grabbed me from behind. I went from ooooh, so he wants to make out on the road, that’s forward but I like the idea to he’s still talking, why can’t I hear his voice behind me to so it can’t be him to holy fuck who is this behind me to fuck fuck a naked man’s penis is pressed into my thong-clad ass and I can feel his balls and his unfriendly arm is around my neck what does he want from me within a split second.

Remember now? Awesome. Moving along, then!

So I was late from work another time, about  a month after I was attacked. Imagine my horror when I had to park in the EXACT SAME SPOT as that fateful night.

I parked my car, and slowly prepared to step out of the car, clutching the pink pepper spray bottle in one hand and wielding the car key like a weapon in the other. Exactly like this:

WP_20140505_00120140505191554

I looked around before I stepped out. Nothing. I walked along the park quietly and without incident. For two seconds.

There he was, in the darkness of the night and at the periphery of the park, stark naked and holding his erect penis in his hand. Grinning.

I ran the rest of the way back and NEVER parked there again.

Also, I think you should know that I did a double take and got a really good look, and liked what I saw. He had washboard abs and no chest hair.

Should I have mentioned that in the police report I filed in the morning?

 

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anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

18 thoughts on “of the time I checked out my naked attacker”

    1. Yes! I agree with Paul, get a shotgun! I can see how carrying it around with you at all times might pose some inconvenience but you gotta do what you gotta do!

      That’s so freaking crazy, how was he always around and in the buff like that?!

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      1. Well, what can I say, the guy’s a psycho. And I don’t mean it like an insult. He really is. I filed a police complaint and have never seen him since. Heard they packed him off to an asylum!

        Shotguns are risky business, people! I went around asking if I could get a taser gun but nobody in India seems to have heard of “what’sthatthing”. I went looking online, but seems like safety comes at a(n exorbitant) price! So I settled for pepper spray.

        But now that I think about it, maybe I should get a baseball bat!

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        1. I also have a baseball bat on hand in case the shotgun or taser fail me 😉 And yeah– they’re expensive. I guard that thing like my baby haha.

          And I don’t have a hard time believing he had a mental illness– it’s remarkable the number of people who come into my work because they were wandering or running around naked. I guess I can’t blame them, if I had no inhibitions I would take my clothes off too, ha.

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