We fought again. There was a screaming match, a whole lot of name calling, and crying. During that fight, I realized that I’m no good with words, especially when I’m in turmoil. I often say the wrong thing. Or the right thing the wrong way. I’m running in circles around what I want to say, and the harder I try the worse and more tangled my life becomes.
Then I resort to silence. That is my hiding place, my favorite medium of expression. He always understands that. Because I’m talking to him with my whole body. And then, he stops fighting. Instead, he untangles my life thread by thread and hands it back to me.
Silence works for me in a way that a thousand words can’t.
Anawnimiss 
“During that fight, I realized that I’m no good with words, especially when I’m in turmoil.”
Isn’t this the ultimate oxymoron of being a writer? I’m completely the same way and why my best arguments have been won through letters. My husband gets nervous when I quit talking…he KNOWS.
Your words around how he untangles you thread by thread is absolutely beautiful–seems like you found the right man to walk down the aisle with 🙂
LikeLike
He’s the best. Very irritating at times, but the best. :-*
LikeLike
You have so much on your plate right now that thoughts and tempers can be wrought with tension and anxiousness. 7 days. Take it easy on both yourself and him.
LikeLike
God! Weddings are a pain in the ass, o matter how low-scale. There’s only ten people to make arrangements for, and that’s still driving me crazy! 😦
LikeLike
Nobody should ever be made to feel that way. So sD to read this. I have live d it. Did it for 18 yrs.
LikeLike
I was married to a man for seven years and we never fought. Made me feel like I was in a movie. It didn’t work out. Now I’m about to marry a man I fight with regularly, and I feel like I’m human again. Sometimes “normal” is perfect 🙂
LikeLike
Normal is good.. fighting can be healthy in small doses to “clear the air”, but if you are made to feel like that daily or on a regular basis, it is so painful.
I pray things go well.
LikeLike
silence is smart (let the other person assume whatever he wants to) ???
And I find silence funny (because it tells me that the other person do not have anything to say)???
Being in silence you are putting responsibility on him, what if he also becomes silent then? Aren’t you expecting that he will understand your silence? What about your role to understand him? well…. confusing ….. anyway relationships are confusing only ….
LikeLike
Silence works for us because we know each other really well. Because when I’m silent, my body language says what I want to say, without having to use harsh words.
No more confusion!
LikeLike
cheers….
LikeLike
In all my relationships I had with men I never fought but the person with whom I have the nastiest fight is my husband today
LikeLike
Words have a way of making and breaking you, silence is the master weapon. Lesson learnt, never tried silence before.
LikeLike
Try it, and let me know how it goes 😉
LikeLike
I talk a lot, opposite of silence. hehe
LikeLike
I completely sympathize with retreating into silence during moments of turmoil. I do it because I’m afraid of saying utterly hurtful things that I would never normally say, and regret the moment I’ve calmed down.
LikeLiked by 1 person