an open letter to Priya Gupta of TOI

Dear Priya,

I read your open letter to Deepika, and you’re absolutely right. Deepika is a publicity whore. She goes around giving people what they want – cleavage shots, and shots of her shapely long legs andbarely-there midriff. She aims to tantalize.

And that Anarkali – whoa – it’s obvious that she was trying to cover up her entire body so that her cleavage got the maximum visibility. And then she objects to being clicked from the top angle where people can ‘dig in’ a little more? That bitch.

You taught her a lesson. What was she doing objecting to being objectified when she voluntarily allows people to objectify her, you know what I mean? Yes?

Good.

Coz I can imagine that if you were at a wedding, wearing an Anarkali exactly like the one Deepika was wearing, with exactly the same amount of cleavage showing, and someone got perched up on a tree and took pictures of you, focusing deliberately on your cleavage, you’d just smile and take it easy. After all you have a cleavage, and since you’re flaunting it any way,  how does it matter if someone got a glimpse of half an inch extra even if you didn’t intend for that to happen!

Obviously when your boobs are showing, the only substance in your body is your cleavage! If the rest of you mattered, you’d be showing that off too – no clothes. Easy peasy! And for god’s sake, what’s the fuss all about? It’s not like her nipple was showing anyway. What a baby! Shahrukh doesn’t crying when you guys focus on his abs, now, does he?

I think you guys should get a shot of her vagina too. The public would love that. You may have to wait until she wears a skirt with a slit, but in the meantime you should invest in one of those pole-thingies that you can tie a camera to. Then when she’s wearing a skirt, you can just be standing below the podium and push the camera up her skirt. No no, don’t blush! It’s obviously an invitation for photographers to get a good look, coz, hey, if she didn’t want them to see her vagina, she’d be wearing pants instead!

Crying about people sneaking peeks inside your clothes is like, well, a prostitute crying about having been raped! As if that matters.

And what is wrong with all these people supporting her? Must be looking for a piece of her glory. Don’t bother about these she-wolves girl. These people will never understand. You know what, you should be famous. And you know what? You even don’t need to piggyback Deepika or any other celeb anymore. Look, I gave you your own cleavage!

Yeah, I know I know! The picture is AWESOME, isn’t it? I’ll bet you didn’t know my photoshop skills were just as good as your writing!

More power to you, sister!