of strangers in the night

So I’m back from the 2N3D offsite, and predictably enough, will now regale you with stories of the weirdness that ensued.

I was picked up from the highway next to my house in a bus with forty people, out of whom I have only ever spoken to six. Two of these six people were newly married men who had brought their wives along, and were pretending to not know me.

(Did I ever tell you that I’m the hottest maal in the office. People have been saying that to my face, which is really awkward coz I don’t know how to react to things like that, mostly coz know it’s true. So feigning modesty becomes really difficult coz I’m not familiar with the concept.)

So anyway they pretended to not know me, just smiled as I dragged my luggage into the bus.

The rest of the people I knew were basically three girls and a cute guy who works in graphics, who kinda smiled at me throughout the offsite, despite the fact that he was traveling with his wife and baby – and oh what a cute baby! Let’s call him Gfx, shall we?

The three other girls waved cheerily and welcomed me on board the bus, and then quickly resumed their laughing and hi-fiving. I put on my earphones and listened to music and clicked pictures.

We stopped for breakfast on the way, and reached the venue, a should-be-five-star-if-it-isn’t-already hotel just before the National Park. Then I met the girls for the unnecessarily lavish lunch and retired again. I skipped the team building activities too and tried to bond with my roommate instead. I asked her, why haven’t I ever seen you in office? Are you new? In response she told me that:

  • She was indeed new to the office, worked with XYZ in ABC department as assistant manager
  • It was her birthday the next day
  • She had lived alone in Indirapuram
  • for ten years
  • Her parents lived in a different city
  • Her biker buddies had planned to kidnap her from her house and bring her to Jim Corbett, but then she ruined it by coming to this offsite, so they changed their plan and were going to pick her up the next day and she was going on a vacation with them on their bikes
  • She owned the same pair of floaters as I did, but couldn’t carry them because she had brought high heels

At this point, I picked up my camera and left the room, because of all the bonding. (I realize that I don’t really make it easy for the other people to get to know me.)

I hid until the evening snacks were served. Later at night, there was an extremely boring dance party planned. The ekdum latest music seemed to be from the nineties, and they played everything from ankhiyon se goli maare to oonchi hai building. The crowd was unruly. One guy got drunk (we were allowed to carry our own alcohol to the offsite) and fell on the floor while people pointed and laughed for a full two minutes before someone ventured to pick him up and walk him to his room.

I decided to sit in a corner, but this guy (from the senior management, someone I’ve never even met) wouldn’t let me. He kept walking up to me and offering me his hand to dance, like a prince from the Victorian age. I’d oblige, stay for three seconds, turn to his wife and dance with her for a bit, and then slyly walk back to where I was sitting, but he kept coming back. No matter where I hid, he found me.

His wife was there on the dance floor all this while, glaring at me like she was going to claw my eyes out, giving me the you’re-stealing-my-husband look. I felt like I should say something to this guy, but then he wasn’t doing anything obviously wrong, and I didn’t really know how to react. I left the party and went back to my room to read and eventually fell asleep.

Thus the night ended. And another day of misery began.

The girls from my bus were in the room adjacent to mine, and in the morning I heard them screaming like they were being murdered. Still in my bathrobe, I ran out towards their room, and I found the door slightly ajar. What I saw next made me wish my eyes had melted in their sockets before I ever laid eyes on it, but you can read about that later.

For now, why don’t we talk about the strange things that you’ve seen drunk people do? Or the things you do when you’re drunk? How do you deal with non-obvious sexual advances from senior management? Would you run away like I did, or give it back to the guy?

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anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

37 thoughts on “of strangers in the night”

  1. Drunk people respond better to chinese cookie statements. Of course this is subject to gender politics. As male teetotalers looking to avoid long-drawn megalomaniac conversations, sharing quotes by unknown Chinese wise men keeps drunktards away. I guess we know where they are off to. Leech-city.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As they say, it’s all reflection, reaction and resound… our thoughts come back and appear in our “real world”.. our life, as they say, is of our own making… so, as they say: careful what u wish for

    Copenhagen or Bengaluru or Seattle would have been better place for u… maybe any place other than NCR

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  3. Wow – that’s really disrespectful that the guys were dancing with you and pestering you while their wives watched.You didn’t mention what the offsite was about – was it training or team-building or new product/service introduction?

    Your response to a flirtatious boss would depend on the situation, I suppose. Here sexual advances by bosses can and often are prosecuted in court. But that almost guarantees the loss of job. I still have a hard time realizing just how entitled males feel in your society – as if somehow they have the right to make sexual advances on any woman they want, regardless of her opinion.

    Drunken behaviour is pretty wild here as well, however if you are required to be there for your job, then alcohol is usually strictly limited and anyone drinking too much is thrown out. Too many lawsuits against companies have made them very careful of their behaviour.

    Best of luck Ana.

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    1. The offsite is basically just a 2N3D vacation for employees and their families. The format is pretty simple – you check in on day 1, have lunch, go for the (mandatory) team building activities, then meet again for dinner and drinks and dancing. On day 2, people assemble for breakfast, go sightseeing, come back for lunch, then go to the team building exercises again, and the the dinner-drinks-dancing resumes.

      The pestering is not that obvious Paul, and therefore many women can say nothing. The guy was being really polite and nice, but 32 years of being a woman has taught me that there’s always an agenda there. If only he had said or done something obvious, I’d have complained formally about his behavior. But he was playing well within the grey area and I couldn’t do much about it.

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  4. I’m the worst behaved man after getting drunk….almost to my wife’s embarrassment at any social gathering….Last night I even turned psychotic with rage….I’m ashamed of my behavior but it is unacceptable….I’m working on it..

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  5. Things people do when they are drunk (some of the following feats were achieved by yours truly 🙂 ):

    – Dancing atop a stage where a band was playing a song; stopping mid song to sing along to the chorus
    – Toppling over someone’s birthday cake while attempting to sneak a bit of the delicious looking icing
    – Trying to take over an abandoned DJ console- because how hard could it!- and then staring blankly at the screen and the buttons while the ‘friends’ and the DJ stand behind them laughing!
    – Attempting to escape by going down a balcony pipe; reminded of their fear of heights, holding on to the thing for dear life while the friends try to pull them back in with another “rescue party” waiting with a quilt below

    Okay, fine! It’s all me!!!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Where was I when you were doing this stuff? The only thing I remember you doing when you were drunk is wanting to dance with a group full of strangers, which I can’t judge you for coz I’m guilty of that too!

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      1. Oh, it’s usually when I am left unsupervised that these things seem to happen! You should know that! 😛
        By the way, incidents 2nd and 3rd happened at Fartsypants’ birthday party last year.

        And, I thought you would remember my singing- that dancing bit you remember is from way back!

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  6. Your office people seem really rude; calling a lady “maal” blatantly! The senior guy in question was unreasonably friendly; can any married man do this in presence of his wife? I’m sure his wife must be docile, husband worshiping bhartiya naari 🙂 An effective way to deal with unwanted advances in office is to be invisible i.e. avoid the gatherings. If that’s not possible, act like you can not hear or see.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, they really are insane. The guy who called me maal to my face was my reporting manager at the time. Throughout my 2 years in office I have tried to remain invisible, but again, being the best maal makes it impossible to accomplish! I’ve tried wearing zero makeup and spects, old clothes, unwashed hair – but nothing seems to work, which is very flattering but also kinda creepy! 😐

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  7. You’ve got me all wiggly now, Ana!
    A Senior management player, team building activities, a too-long lunch….AUGH!! Make it stop!

    You and I would have been fabulous co-workers. I’d have rescued you from his clutches, told every wife in there what an awesome woman you are (and don’t hate her cuz she’s beautiful) and then we would have found our own corner to make fun of the drunk people.

    I met my best friend when we were co-workers…she’s my best friend to this day because we allied against many of things you just mentioned.

    NOW…please write the next installment…I’ll have to take back the “beautiful” comment if you don’t put your audience out of suspenseful misery!
    xo

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  8. To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune! 😀 I’ll assume that ‘maal’ is a pejorative term for women and should not be used. I don’t understand the comfort that people exhibit using these terms towards others, especially when they are not close. It’s different if you’re very close to someone and use them, almost as a term of endearment. But because you are the hottest woman in the office doesn’t give them license to use it. Did I just call you hot? 😀

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        1. Okay – so it’s be a double whammy if someone wears maalware and gives you maalish (Hindi for massage).

          Also made me think of a song – Ladki badi hai kamaal ki from an old film called Taqdeerwaala.

          P.S. This doesn’t sound half as funny as I imagined 😐

          Liked by 1 person

  9. ‘ek dum’ latest music – ankhiyon se goli maaray and oonchi hai building..LOL. This was hilarious!! I can almost imagine Anawnimiss trying to dance on those ancient tunes. I hope you’ll share the reason why your eyes almost melted in your sockets soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Nicely written Ana, it is quite unfortunate that people drink so much that they are uncontrolled and hard to manage. Though in a similar types of official meet I too went to Jim Corbet a few years back with my wife and it was more like the same as you described here 🙂

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