of revelations: the shoes and the potential rapist

Nobody thought I could be lying about being obsessed about shoes, or about a blogger who wanted to date rape me? You were right. I don’t make jokes about rape. Or shoes.

So here’s the truth, and nothing but the truth.

The shoes

In 1999, just before I started college, my cousins decided to take me out shoe shopping. I had saved exactly 1500 bucks (that’s roughly $24) and I specifically told them this was my shoe and clothes budget. They were a bunch of brand conscious kids so they didn’t care about my budget and took took me to a Nike factory outlet anyway.

The moment I entered, I saw a wall full of white and blue, white and yellow sneakers. My head reeled. All I owned at home was a pair of dirty blue-grey hawaii chappals, a pair of white canvas shoes (the school uniform ones) and a pair of black ballerinas (again, school uniform shoes), and a pair of red sandals for parties, etc.

So I inched closer and closer, when one of the bros stopped me and said – this is the men’s section, and dragged me to a scantier wall, where I saw pink and blue shoes. One pair clearly stood out – black canvas with red laces – and I fell in love. I paid 750 for it, and on my way home I was wondering if I should’ve bought another pair, just in case. I never stopped buying them.

This was 1999, people. I think I may have started the canvas shoe fetish.

Do you wear canvas shoes too? Ever realize you have a similar obsession about something?


The date rape

This is a story from two or three months ago. I was new to IndiBlogger, and was done lurking in the shadows, so I gingerly entered the group chat. I made “friends” with a blogger, who then proceeded to chat me up via IndiMail, the personal messaging system on IndiBlogger. To be honest, I knew that if I were a man, he wouldn’t have done that, but you know how I am about wanting to fit in, so I responded to him once in a while.

Soon he started following this blog, and left random comments that reeked of I know you so well. I do not like people who try to act over-familiar, so my responses to him became delayed and scanty and mostly contained smileys and thank yous.

On IndiBlogger, it was difficult to ignore him. He kept talking about the fact that he used to write soft porn, to which I never responded. Then he asked me if I wanted to be interviewed on his blog – I didn’t really want to, but politely said sure. He sent me some grammatically incorrect questions, very badly framed, and I asked if he wanted me to correct the English for him, and he didn’t say anything about it, so I was pretty relieved.

Two months ago, he realized that I had said nothing about the interview. So he sent me this:

DVD

Of course I already knew he was saying this in jest, but I just couldn’t let it slide. So I confronted him, saying I didn’t appreciate jokes about rape, and he said he only meant it as a joke.

I blocked him. Then I thought some more, and reported him to the IndiBlogger team. Not because I felt threatened by him. I’m sure he didn’t even mean it, but it angered me. What kind of insensitive person jokes about rape?

What would you have done? If you could address this guy directly, what would you say?  

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anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

53 thoughts on “of revelations: the shoes and the potential rapist”

  1. Sounds like a pretty measured response to me. I like the fact that you took action at the threat and did not wait until he acted. I don’t know about India but here in Canada even the threat is a matter that the police want to hear about. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think he would’ve acted on the threat, Paul. I really do think he was just horsing around, and I could’ve easily let it slide, but I needed him to understand how serious this issue is. I don’t think rape is a laughing matter and needed him to see that.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. You know Ana, I think saying anything to him is not going to make even an ounce of a difference. Neither is he going to regret his lame shitty joke nor is he going to stop making such jokes. I just regret knowing that such people exist. No sensibilities at all.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m really glad you like it. I thought that the font was huge on this one, but decided to try it for a few days. If you guys feel that readability is getting impacted, I’ll go back to the old one. Just let me know 🙂

        Like

    1. I know, even after I pointed out that I didn’t appreciate jokes about rape, he basically just told me to lighten up. I went from wtf to I have to report this guy to maybe I should start a witch hunt around Halloween in 30 seconds flat.
      Such people should be publicly humiliated, and that is why if people who are on IndiBlogger look hard enough, they will know exactly who this person is. I wanted to let his insensitivity shine through the blur.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. How gross… How can people say such lame things….
    You did the right thing by telling him, blocking him and reporting him to indiblogger..

    By the way .. love the new look and the big fonts …

    Like

      1. Giggles yeah. On a more serious note though, it’s alright to appreciate insensitive humour but it depends on the context. Good comedians have poked at subjects like homosexuality, the holocaust, incest and poverty, and many bloggers I find funny even use forcible anal penetration as a visual metaphor. But i ve never felt offended by them.

        Clearly this fella was trying to get your attention by assuming your fascination for “edgy” references given how visceral your own sense of humour is. There is an element of delusion that seems conducive to politics.

        Like

  4. This is just so thoroughly disturbing, how can anybody be so insensitive to rape! Just because it is used many a times on the news and isn’t talked about in hushed tones nowadays, doesn’t make it a trivial thing.

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        1. Oh good. I thought I was the only one sensing that undercurrent. I did not really know where the cyber police could be reached, so I got the IndiBlogger team to give him a warning. If I could get him blocked for good, it would be even better!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Somehow i remember coming across a blog with the guy’s face, though blurred that picture along with the soft porn thing makes me slightly sure of this guy’s identity.
            The stupid part is how can you ‘joke’ around this way with a person whom you don’t know at all!! Not that it would be acceptable to do the same even if you know someone well!
            I have this urge to kick him on his ass, makes me believe that there is no derth of assholes on earth.

            Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my goodness…I go away for a week and you completely move the furniture around. (I love it, though!)
    I would have totally reported the guy…it’s not even a funny joke.
    Shoes. I didn’t discover shoes until well into my late thirties. It’s my best friend’s fault. Thanks to her, I have an entire wall of shoes.
    I’m slowly getting caught up on all of my reading. Be watching for random comments on posts you wrote days ago 🙂

    Like

    1. Welcome back, Michelle! I’ve been wondering where you were! 😀
      You don’t think the font is too large? I’ve been told my ass looks better than the bland white background I had on last so I decided to go with it anyway!

      Like

      1. It’s very classy and sassy all at once. Makes me want to redo my space, too.
        In fact, I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks…seeing your new design just confirms it.
        I love that you have a picture of you on there, too. It’s beautiful!

        Like

        1. Go ahead and do it. If you don’t like the way it turns out you can always change it back! can’t wait to see what you’ll do! 🙂
          And that picture is an old favorite. The ex-husband clicked it on a vacation in Goa – this is just after sunrise.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m on Indiblogger and I know this person, guess he’s got this coming. Even Chetan Bhagat got thoroughly and deservedly abused on twitter for his jokes on rape. Rape is not a matter to be joked about, and I’m certain that the guy has learnt this lesson

    Liked by 3 people

  7. The shoes, 2nd paragraph, it says “canvas shows” instead of “canvas shoes”.
    I hope you won’t kill me for this 😛
    And I would’ve clearly asked him not to joke about rape or any such sensitive issues, but wouldn’t have blocked him in the 1st place. I would’ve blocked him definitely at the 2nd instance or if I would’ve sensed it from his language.

    Like

          1. Gawwwd.. do you know me at all? If something of the sort happened, I’d blog about it before going to the police! This blog is my lifeline! I dunno what I’d be doing if weren’t writing! 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          2. I’m no different in ‘real’ life, because this is my real life – so you guy do know me.
            And I don’t think I’ve ever said it in so many words, but I am thankful for every single person who reads this blog. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

        1. Actually the guy had been an asshat since he started emailing me. His messages were always loaded with just the right amount of inappropriate. Enough to make me uncomfortable but not enough to fight with him over.

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  8. At the very least, his comments were in very poor taste. I would be embarassed to have these comments attached to me. It would make me wonder how a person would use such a vile act in such a casual way. I think that you handled the situation as best as possible. Block/ignore him. Hopefully others would have done the same thing if they were aware of his foul demeanor.
    I don’t wear canvas shoes, but I do have several obsessions with things. I love terrycloth shirts in the summer. They’re heavier than regular cotton but are perfect when coming out of the pool. I can’t pass on buying one if I see one in the store.

    Like

  9. Nice context..!!!!
    And I cant actually believe I was reading the second part..!!!
    What sort of sensitive people are being seen these days..??
    And on the post ..!!!
    Good one..!! 🙂

    Like

  10. Ugh for that guy. It also pisses me off when some guys use “rape” as a metaphor for some sporting team being defeated badly / humiliated on field, but this is way worse since it’s a comment directed at someone personally. Glad you reported him.
    I’m kinda meh about shoes. I have weird (and uneven, I suspect) sized feet, so shoe hunting always takes way too long for me, and more often than not I just give up. Canvas shoes are cool, though, no such hassles there.

    Like

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