of crazy-ass surprises

Sitting at the airport without a book to read can be a painful experience. But in my case, having a book to read pretty much led to the same fate. Here’s the story.

When I was leaving Bangalore, Giggles gave me a book, a really tight hug that resulted in a cramp just below my ribs and a stain (tears? drool? I’m not really sure) on my t-shirt. But the book found its way into my laptop bag. I’m not a fan (not that I have read it yet) of the Eat Love Pray genre – whatever it is called, but I had promised Giggles I’d read it at the airport. So I had to.

I was walking around with my cabin baggage getting from the security check point to the lounge, where I had have to wait another two hours for my flight. They had pretty much made me disassemble my cabin baggage – with the laptop, mobile, and camera in the tray, my two bags were reduced to pretty much size zero – and I was trying to put my stuff back in when I found the book.

So as I slid my laptop back into its place, I saw the book, and I remembered my promise. Now, usually I’d lie to the person and say, yeah babes I read it and loved it thank you for the thoughtful gift, I couldn’t do that to Giggles because she’d be sure to ask multiple choice questions to check my understanding I can’t really lie to someone I love.

I pulled the book out, tore open the cellophane cover like I intended on ravishing what lay inside, and then set about reading. While I walked. Into a marble stand that contained sundry showpieces in a shop.

Who the fuck put this here, How am I walking into a store without even noticing, Don’t they put doors on shops anymore – these were questions I was thinking in my head.

Don’t you think it’d be a good idea to sit down and read is what a random Sardarji was asking. Aloud. Two of his three children were giggling at me, very much like Giggles. At least they weren’t pointing.

I picked up the stuff I had dropped, and walked away, limping. Just to piss the sardarji uncle off, I continued reading like nothing had happened. And then, I saw, from the corner of my eye, someone who I’m sure was walking towards me with the intention of bumping into me. I stopped at the last second just to make a point, and looked up angrily. Mister had his typical frowning-but-also-smiling face on. Whoa! What did I do to make you so mad, baby?

Fuck! What are you doing here?

Going home with my family, what else!

It took me a couple of minutes to realize he had given me the best surprise anyone can ever give someone who loves them. He’s flying back to Delhi with me. Tonight. Right fucking NOW.

Well, not technically with me coz he isn’t on the same flight and he just boarded – but Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Though my head is still swarming with questions about how he managed to pack ALL his stuff while I was there in the same house, and whether Giggles and Fartsypants and PepTalk knew, and why he didn’t tell me sooner – the year couldn’t have gotten off to a better start. Except, of course, for the bruise on my knee.