of girl stuff

I should probably not be telling you this, coz let’s face it, I’m weird and you’re easily tickled. But what the heck. I’m anonymous and you aren’t really laughing at me, only at my weirdness, which is somewhat okay.

I can’t wait for menopause to finally happen. I mean, I am so tired of bleeding every month, carrying extra pads (no tampons for me, thank you very much), sleeping with hot water bottles, and howling like a werewolf in heat on days 2 and 3 (and not getting any).

Seriously. I’m done trying to figure out sleeping positions at night, waking up every four hours to check if I’ve stained anything, and then going back to sleep. I done sitting up in bed in the morning for a full two minutes, waiting for that trickle of warmth and wetness between my legs to subside so I can finally stand up and go about my business. What a pity that when I finally get to it, going about my business isn’t as easy as I’d hoped, if you know what I mean.

And the sex. I want to be able to have spontaneous, I want you right here right now sex without pausing to reach for a condom or making sure I didn’t miss a pill. That split second always ruins it for me.

How am I to focus on the good things in my life when I’m always counting days; when my ‘month’ is only 28 days long? I want my fucking calendar back. 

 

And I know what you’re thinking. Just so you know, I’m not PMSing. It is hurtful when people joke about that, because PMS is actually a very (very) painful time emotionally and physically. If I am PMSing, you asking if I’m PMSing only makes it worse.

 

Are you tired of menstruation too? Know someone who is? How do you feel about PMS jokes? Do you make PMS jokes? Is menopause as liberating as it sounds?

 

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anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

38 thoughts on “of girl stuff”

  2. I used to wait for menopause too until my mom went through it. It might be different for everyone but hers lasted 5 years and it was emotionally draining for us as a family. She would get bouts of anger, depression, sadness, regrets and love each tremendously taxing on her because they were much more than she could handle. And one of us would get mad at her for her frequent outbursts to leave the home in a state of null activity for hours. Others would then patch up things. And then after a few days, she used to lose it again. Those were very difficult days. She still cringes from the thought of those days.

    I don’t think it could have brought enjoyable sex or peaceful sleep in those years. Well, after that.. I think she is quite at peace now. But the memory of those days is haunting. The words she spoke then, though I knew were because of menopause, still make me wonder whether deep down she used to think that about me, even if it is just a teeny bit. And that makes me sad.

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    1. Awww sweetie, I can understand what you mean about suspecting that maybe deep down she does feel that way. I really do, because somewhere I’ve been through that same cycle of guilt and doubt.

      But somewhere, I think that if PMS is in any way an indication of what happens to our bodies during menopause, I doubt that she means it, because most women say and do stuff they don’t mean to when they’re going through these changes.

      Also, you should know this – when my mom was going through menopause, she didn’t tell us. Even my father had no idea! We just thought she was being mean and bitchy, but you made me actually go to her over the weekend and talk to her about it openly. She had never expected anyone to ever understand. So, thank you very much for this comment. ❤

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      1. Yes well.. Most days I do know she didn’t mean what she said but in moments of self-doubts, those days make me wonder! I’ve had my share of PMS fights and hence, I understand too.

        Its good to talk with them about it. When I talk to mom about it, she tells me how low she felt after fights with one of us. She said she understood she was being mean even while speaking those things yet, she couldn’t control it. Its good you talked to your mum. Would have made her felt really special!!

        If knowing that she was going through menopause made me feel bad about her words, I can imagine how it must be for you! Hugs.. And hey, here’s to the hope of miraculous easy menopause with all this knowledge! We wait for you! Cheers!!

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  4. Oh, my friend! You crack me up.
    Old lady alert–menopause is great. Especially the way I did it…surgically, overnight.
    One little estrogen pill every day and I’m good to go. No mood swings, no cramps, no nuthin’
    As for the spontaneous sex…well, if only I wasn’t darned old and tired all the time!!

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    1. See? That’s what I’m talking about. I always thought that once menopause hits, you can finally get back to being who you originally were, before the whole “becoming a woman” business started.

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  5. I was just going to write something on those lines for today!

    The sanitary napkin ads make my blood boil, to no extent. No, I don’t go about prancing, dancing,climbing walls, shoving my bum in other’s faces while having my periods!

    Whatever happened to honest advertisements that told that women need rest and are cranky during periods and its not a good time to linger around them because you have nofreakingclue about the pain, plus it isn’t equal to getting kicked in the balls. The next time someone does a pain comparison I’m going to suggest a how about I kick you in your balls for 5 days every month. Equals right?

    And the way people cringe when you say the word periods, no big secret it is!!

    I do not ever want children and maybe there should be a choice assigned at the very beginning that lets you decide that if you don’t want kids, no periods too!!

    Sorry for the mini rant 😛

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    1. Ha ha.. the rant is absolutely valid. I am disgusted by the ads too, but I can live with them. Can’t live with the insensitive jokes and pain comparisons. I’m seriously waiting to kick the next person who says something like that in the nuts. Bring it on, boys!

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  6. OMG! And yet again, we relate across the waters. I had to go to the hospital nearly every month as a 13 yr. old and they gave me some pretty hefty barbiturates to ease… then, at the ripe old age of 14 yrs, the miracle of the pill alleviated those horribly painful symptoms. I really don’t know what freaked my mother out more, but I know she decided that was a good time for ‘the talk’. Sigh.

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    1. Pills and the talk, both at 14? Whoa! I don’t think I’d have survived something like that. But then my parents never really had the talk with me. In India sex is all hush hush. We pretend our children don’t do it. And aren’t pills supposed to have long term side effects? How do you cope with those?

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        1. It’s bad enough to start pills at 14, but to have a stroke and then further health issues? I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I hope it was nothing serious, and you’ve healed now!

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  7. I’m a massive whiner in this department too. The massive saviour of cramping women – a vaginal birth – did nothing for me. Day 2 is pure torture for me.

    That said, try a menstrual cup. You can actually forget about staining and back up and be environmentally friendly all at once. I sound like a walking ad for them but they’re really so good. at least now i only deal with cramps…

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      1. I also have my issue as a man, battling with issues. We all do but we hide, trying to portray a different image to the outside. We all have needs and desires as human beings, right!!

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  9. cramps are manageable for me… but the PMS is horrible.. the same emotional chaos at regular intervals kills me and it is getting bad with every month..
    Its like I have the few good days after the period gets over and that I have to make the most of it or else again that draining natural routine. This also puts some pressure..
    I hate jokes mostly, I hate jokes related with this …
    I do not think menopause will be any easier after seeing my mother going through it.. With all those hot flashes, man it might be difficult..

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    1. “Its like I have the few good days after the period gets over and that I have to make the most of it or else again that draining natural routine.”
      Exactly. It’s almost like the sinking feeling one gets on Sunday evening – dread that Monday is just round the corner and you’ve to make the best of the time you have left. And in that pressure, you end up just sulking and wasting the time you have remaining.

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  10. Im peri-menopausal. Some of the symptoms none of the bonus. Crying for no reason? Check. Hot flushes causing me to sweat through my clothes thrice daily? Check. Thrush? Bloody hell what??? And best of all i still get my “Aunt Flo” like clockwork. *Sigh*

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    1. Hey Jane – that sounds really bad! Isn’t there medication for such stuff? (Sorry if the question is juvenile. To be honest, I didn’t even know what peri-menopausal means before I read your comment.)
      I do hope you feel better soon!

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  11. I can not agree more with this post! If it weren’t for me wanting to have child at some point of time, I would have seriously gotten a hysterectomy! Having to go through the pain and mood swings month on month is insane! And the next person who makes a PMS joke definitely deserves a kick in the nuts!

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  14. I remember having an argument with a classmate in school on whether girls place the s-napkin in the ‘front’ or the ‘back’. I was convinced it was back because that was where all the bad stuff came out of. But ultimately I had to concede the argument to him because he claimed he had a sister and therefore he would know better.

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  15. For me everything related to menopause has made my life a million times better. The most diffcult aspect was when I turned 45 and saw that I would most likely never have children. This was a real heartbreaker, at the time. Now, I am so happy that I am child-free. My menopause, the early stages in my late forties through now, were the beginning of the first consistently happy years of my life, in spite of many life challenges. I have realized that what was diagnosed at one point as a mood disorder, was actually a serious hormonal balance, and lo and behold menopause resulted in balancing my system. It was like I went through all the mood horrors for the fertile years, as well as monster cramps, and menopause is when I finally get to be calm. If I had had a crystal bowl years ago, and had foreseen me being childless, and had known the reason for my chronic depressions, I probably would have had a hysterectomy before I turned 21. Seriously, I could have lived a much happier and productive life, but I am happy now, so that is all what counts now. I wonder now, how many women could be helped with hormonal-balancing supplements rather than taking anti-depressants. I started taking natural supplements in my early 40’s, and these really were game-changers, but I still had to suffer through debilitating cramps.

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