When I discovered I was going to be a mom, and that mine was going to be a high-risk pregnancy, the first thing I did was to document all the things that were about to go wrong with my life.
- Curtailed movement. Less travel. US trip canceled.
- Turning into a cow = massive wardrobe crisis coming up.
- Sleepless nights.
- Boobyache. Varicose veins. Restricted movement.
- Giving up alcohol = social life finished = dying of boredom.
LessNo sexytime. No alone time.
- My mother telling me now you’ll see with an evil gleam in her eyes.
- Career set back by a hundred years.
Shit. I don’t think I thought this through, I said as soon as Mister got home, showing him my list. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say.
No, you didn’t. There are some things missing here. Let me help.
- More shopping, less work.
- Bigger boobs.
- Someone to blame your farts on.
- An opportunity to raise a good human being.
- Your brains + my charms + our collective good looks = one hell of a baby.
- Having the only thing that beats the crap out of the law of diminishing returns.
Suddenly, life seems uncomplicated and happy. I think we’re going to be okay.
If you have a child, how did you take it when you realized the seriousness of the situation and its impact on your life? Is it true that children change you? Do you know of anything else that beats the law of diminishing returns?