of trepidation

I’d like to still be pregnant when this post ends, so I’ll make it as short as I can.

My baby’s coming in two months, time’s flying faster than I can keep up, and I’m freaking out. I am so not prepared for this! And by ‘not prepared’ I don’t mean financially. I don’t care how much or how little I have, I know we will survive.

And no, I’m not even worried about not being prepared emotionally. I practically raised my younger brother, though he was one of the people that went and watched Prem Ratan Dhan Payo – a Sooraj Barjatya movie with three doorknobs (Salman, Salman, and Sonam) in it – I must’ve gone horribly wrong somewhere!

*shudder*

Anyway. I am worried that I don’t know how (and if) I’m going to teach my baby about spirituality with the shit that’s going on in the world in the name of religion. I see people all around me, intelligent people who have two helpings of brain but only half a helping of heart when it comes to accepting other faiths, and I don’t know what I can do to prepare my kid for the sheer stupidity of this all. Paris. Israel. Love jihad. Beef ban. All of it.

Besides, Mister, mom and I have three different perspectives on god and spirituality. Mom has a mandir in the house where she must pray every morning and evening with the utmost reverence. Mister is a yogi and his way of approaching divinity is through meditation and soul searching. Me? I’m just a creature of convenience. I don’t believe in idol worship, but I will accompany Mister and Mom to a temple if they’re going, sit there and think about where the world is headed. Where I am headed. But I will let them be.

Of course I want my kid to be spiritual, but how will I even handle this when he/she starts to get curious?

Like I said, I’m freaking out. How would you handle this?

 

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anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

34 thoughts on “of trepidation”

  1. Well your posts seem pretty spiritual to me. The biggest thing lacking in the world of spirituality that creates problems is humanity. When humanity is present in spirituality then it is what it should be, a beautiful thing. Maybe starting with humanity your kid will be able to bring peace to any path. I’m not worried for you at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sreejit. Coming from you, this is a huge confidence booster. Humanity is where I would like to start, too, but the number of good examples seem to be dwindling, and I don’t know what I can do to change that!

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  2. Being spiritual doesn’t mean going to a temple or to church. Being spiritual means being aware of the spiritual being we are and of its purpose of being here. I’d say you don’t even need to teach your child. You only need to be a role model of your on virtue. Just be you and never act versus your conviction.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The trouble is, there are three role models in the house – and I’m not sure how to strike a balance between opposed ideologies. I am ok with whatever my kid picks up, not sure if we’ll end up confusing him with all this…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I see the dilemma. Since you all get along well I think it will just find a way. But as we all are different and pass on something from our individuality anyway it might only be one more aspect of the person that will be shared with the child. It might take from everone what fits for it. In the end it is a blessing because the child gets a very big picture presented. What I think is even more important is the tolerance it experiences by the tolerance of the three of you for each ones point of view.

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  3. You’ll handled it well, I am sure. Guess. money is such an issue and I am in same situation..compelled to take a job below my profile just to pay bills..it’s clerical in nature. I am more like you when it comes to God, I don’t believe but don’t go to temple. I comply when Mom hold some prayer at home.
    Keep it up and hold ur might.
    Loads of love
    V

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  4. Share with them what you know through discussion, and through experiences. The child’s education and exposure will shape him/her up. The child might come to think/believe anything. Anything at all. All you have to do is look at it as a good thing, and know your role 🙂 Easier said than done, much like most good things.

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    1. Easier said than done is absolutely spot on, Ankit! I’ve given advice about how to raise children to so many friends, and I always come off sounding so intelligent when I do that! It’s only now that I am faced with the same questions is when I have no answers! 😉

      The thing is, discussions are for older children – what I’m going to have on my hands is a newborn with zero life experience. I am going to have to provide all the experience, and the magnitude of the implications is what scares me.

      (And don’t even get me started on education in India!)

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  5. I’m not even pregnant and I’m already wondering how I would handle this in the future. Wish you the best. The way I see it – I believe in a simple logic of being good and doing good. The only trouble is that “good” isn’t quite black and white anymore.
    Please do keep writing. Would love to hear about your parenting journey. Wish you a safe and stress-free few more months, a safe delivery and a healthy baby! 🙂

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    1. Ha ha.. wait till you get pregnant (if, of course, you want a child). You;ll question everything you see around you in the context of a newborn learning from it, and what ensues is a series of sleepless nights!

      You may know this if you’ve been around here before that my sister is Muslim. I am (technically) Hindu, so I know a little bit about both religions, and I have chosen the principles I want to follow, mostly along the lines of what you said (do good = feel good, do bad = feel bad).

      But these days, I have no idea what is actually good. Just this morning, ma was talking about how we complain about the rising monkey menace, but refuse to acknowledge that we took their homes away to build our own. Then I brought up how much worse it was to get pest control done because we’re basically killing living beings. We both ended up sad after this discussion. See what I mean?

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      1. I do 😦 and I don’t even know if there are any real answers. I think I would try to teach my child to be compassionate and kind and hope that that would be enough. Wishing you a safe delivery and looking forward to reading your parenting stories 🙂

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  6. You will be fine. It is a crazy world with really stupid things at the moment but we all will be fine. We need to believe in that because all we have is hope. A hope for a better world.
    I will try and hold on to that thought. Something good should come out of this.
    Somethings gotta give!

    All the best to you..
    Wishing the best for you..

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    1. I find it harder and harder to believe in humanity, you know, with all this happening around me. But I do think that we’re in a state of flux right now, and we will all eventually settle down. Hope it’s not too late by then!

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  7. Anna, when you hold that little baby in your arms you will know what to do. Just continue to love and the child will take spiritually what he/she needs from both of you.
    Leslie

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  8. Spirituality and religion are different. Teach your child spirituality and not religion 🙂

    Plus you will be so occupied with the kid that you will hardly find time to worry about all these things I believe.

    Wishing you good health 🙂

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  9. I am no expert and do not really have that much of an idea but I would focus on teaching the kids my ideas and explain that everybody may not follow the same path just like we all do not use the same bus route because your husband and mom will be talking about their paths. Another option would be to discuss with hubs and see what common ground you guys would like to establish for the child.

    As for the world, there is really nothing much you can do when shit happens but you can do your best to raise a compassionate, kind person. And for that you do not need religion or spirituality.

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    1. I did have a discussion about this with Mister last night. He seems pretty confident that we’ll do okay. The kid can just observe all three of us and follow whatever path his heart leads him/her to. What he told me was this – no point fretting over something you can’t control.
      (Did I mention he was just at a Yoga camp for a month devouring the Gita?)

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I don’t even know where I fall. Hubs is a little religious. Both sets of parents are devout Hindus and borderline intolerant. Here’s what I’m doing to “teach” my bub – nothing. Not a damn thing. We go to the temple when hubs wants to go(I go for the food…yummax!). I’m going to raise her to believe that she can believe whatever she wants as long as her core principles are solid. She’s going to grow up and see how members of the same family can be so different, yet peacefully co-exist and respect each others’ feelings. That’s a very important lesson, imho and one that can be broadened to be applied to the larger society.

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  11. My dear sweet friend,
    First of all…sorry that I’ve been gone so long.
    Secondly, I totally know where you’re coming from. I’ve been there, and worried about that. Even though I (we) have made mistakes, we still have two spiritual (not necessarily religious) kiddos.
    My first mistake was making decisions based on what my parents would think. We sent our daughter to a private religious school because my mom expected it. It didn’t feel right, ever, and it wasn’t until we moved her to public school and provided our own gentle, spiritual guidance that they started to flourish.
    I can’t say what’s right for anybody else, but I know the fact that you’re worried already tells me that your heart will be your best guide.
    You are gonna be an awesome mama. xo

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    1. Hey Michelle, I’ve missed you! 😃
      I hope you’re well.
      I am hoping I will find a way to do this right, though I have to admit I’m pretty clueless about where to begin. If I could just teach the baby to be humane…

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Just don’t stress. Just allow the kid to explore and find his own standing over time. My husband is an atheist. My parents are hyper-religious, and I am the spiritual/yoga/meditation type. My daughter is still exploring – she is 12 now. My husband and I are fine with her being whatever she chooses. My parents however are freaking out at the non-religiosity of our up-bringing.

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    1. I think your daughter may be the one who finally helps your parents understand the pointlessness of it all! For me, it’s not so much about what he should choose, but whether we’re confusing him. Now, I’ve decided to just let it be. He can pick up and discard religion as he likes. I’m cool as long as he is a good human being, which IMHO is rare these days.

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