of molestrologers and new year resolutions – part 1

Believe it or not, I got molested last week by a 72 year old astrologer.  Yes, you read that right.

Me, a heavily pregnant woman the size of a small planet, about to deliver any second now, poked in the crotch by an old rambling man with one arm debilitated in an accident and one leg in the proverbial grave.

Let me back up a bit.

Mister’s mom and I had heard fascinating things about K. Santhanam, a well-known palmist and astrologer who lives at 92, Pocket D, Mayur Vihar Phase 2, Delhi – 110091. (I decided to add his complete address here, just in case you feel compelled to send him hate mail after reading this shit.)

So anyway. Mom and I decided to consult this guy because we were curious about what he would have to say about my future. And yes, I believe in this mumbo jumbo when I feel like it.

He started by telling us how he was an accomplished astrologer-cum-face reader-cum-palmist-cum-something else who had even been consulted by an ex-president of India in this very house.

He talks too much, I whatsapped Mister.

Then he went on to talk about how he was an engineer at a senior post, and how he had sent a woman employee home because he had predicted, just by looking at her face, that she was going to deliver a baby boy the same day. Then he told me how she called at 4 pm to say she had just delivered. A baby boy.

30 min and he hasn’t talked about my horoscope yet, I whatsapped Mister again.

Then he got to the point. He told me three things:

  1. I had a “motherly” streak in my personality and I shouldn’t let it go.
  2.  My “gonads” (I think he meant ovaries) were not functioning properly because of lack of sexual activity. This was the root cause of all my health problems.
  3. Having my baby and breastfeeding would “fix” my health for good.

All this while, he kept gesturing at his groin to indicate “gonads” and at his chest area to indicate breastfeeding. He also said something about my beautiful face and lips and I found this odd, but did not think too much about it because he was a senile old man (and also because I’m not easily embarrassed about my body).

He told me nothing of significance about my career or relationship or anything else, and quite honestly, I refrained from asking because he had taken 45 minutes to give me the aforementioned load of crap about my gonads. I was actually relieved when he moved to mom’s horoscope.

His observations about mom were very regular in nature; he said that she was an open person. He asked her to do pujas in the nearby temple, then indicated that there was one going on right now and that his wife was going there.

I (stupidly) asked ma to accompany his wife – but in my defense, his grown-up granddaughter was in the house and I had no reason to feel threatened. At this time, he was looking at my palm.

As soon as ma left,  he started talking about my “gonads” again, then put his hand on my thigh and slid it up to my crotch. When I objected, he told me he was trying to show me the acupressure points that would help me fix my health problems. As he spoke, his hand was still on my thigh.

I slapped his hand away, got up, and instead of going ninja on him, I mumbled something about his behavior being completely inappropriate, gathered my belongings and left.

Has something like this ever happened to you? How would you react if you were in this situation? Do you think I under-reacted?

(On a lighter note, what do you think about the term molestrologer? Giggles came up with it!)

Here’s what happened next.

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Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

58 thoughts on “of molestrologers and new year resolutions – part 1”

  1. Wow, I totally can’t push like on this post, but want to show my support. You could have punched him in the face but then he’s 72 so if you’d have killed him there’d be another problem. Gross, dirty old man using his position… So shameless.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the much-needed support, Sreejit. I still find it hard to believe that he made the move. I will probably not be able to trust old men so easily anymore, but I guess I’m better off safe and suspicious than sorry.


  2. I’ve never heard of an astrologer making physical contact like that. Sounds very strange! Yes, I have had inappropriate actions against me. It’s just strange that people feel that they can take liberties with other peoples personal space.


  3. Ana, I would have belted him one in the nose. Some men find pregnant women very sexy. Obviously, he succumed to your charms and need a wake up. You did the right thing. Yes it has happened to me.


  4. You told it well, but yeah, when they cross the line, cheeky old men can become vile, grabby beings without much encouragement. Sorry you had to deal with that. No-one should have to. Is there any professional body you can report him to?

    I once had my ass grabbed by a crazy old grandma, at work, after she’d spent her entire appointment interrupting to tell me about my “beautiful teeth”. She later informed me (while I was trying to take her retinal pictures) that she’d left her bra off that day. I was VERY glad when she left. And rather nonplussed. My colleagues thought it was all quite funny, when I relayed the story.

    I think it just shows inherent bias, because if she’d been male, there would probably have been reports filed.


    1. I wonder if your colleagues would’ve been just as amused if a man had touched you. People don’t seem to understand that abuse is not gender specific, and you’d feel just as violated if a woman were to touch you this way!

      And yes, there are things I can do (and am doing), including shaming the man on social media. This does mean compromising my anonymity, but this is so much more important. I’m not going to let him get away with it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Quite – I don’t think their attitudes would have been the same at all!

        I’m glad you’re doing what you can to let this chap know how unacceptable his behavior is. I wonder how many before you have suffered in silence, and how many after you won’t have to, because of your actions. GOOD FOR YOU!


  5. Sad and equally worrying to know that you (in your present condition especially) had to go through this.

    I hope he loses all his clients and eventually shuts down his business.

    Good day to you!


    1. I hope so too, Anoop. If I could I’d plaster his new visiting card all over social media. I also want to add a photograph, but I don’t have one. Yet. Please share with as many people as you can. I would really appreciate the help.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Kudos to you for not clocking the old perv and telling him you were just pointing out ‘accupressure’ points that could help with his depravity. I can’t say that I would have been as kind. I’m sorry that happened to you.


  7. I know that this guy is quite famous in mayur vihar phase 2. Its heartening to read what happened to you. Its Gods grace that nothing worse happened. I fully agree with you that you need to humiliate such people so that in future he shudders to ever think of attempting to do such a thing. Maybe we should print leaflets and distribute it with the newspaper so that many people who dont know about him in socialmedia will get to know him.


    1. I actually thought of distributing pamphlets, but the pregnancy just did not allow for that kind of stress. Now I have a newborn on my hands, and it seems like too much hard work. But I’m definitely going to pursue the case legally!


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