Santhanam 2

of molestrologers and new year resolutions – part 3

Call me old-fashioned, but I really don’t think it’s ok for an old astrologer to poke a pregnant (or not) woman in her genitals under any circumstances.

And trust me, though a dimwit thinks he has his wife convinced that his intentions were merely to demonstrate how to accupressure works on a pregnant woman’s ovaries, his marriage is in trouble.

How do I know this? Because at 7:45 am on the 29th of December, K. Santhanam rang my doorbell. Mom answered, and he said that:

  • He has no reason to be attracted to me because he has an “active” relationship with his wife and he loves her very much.
  • His loving wife was upset with him at first, but then understood that he was just “doing his job”.

Then, he asked to speak to me personally to sort out the “misunderstanding” – which I refused to do.

Then he told mom that I had overreacted without listening to his (cock and bull) side of the story. Mom decided to humor him, which was a mistake, because what ensued was three elaborate versions of how:

(a) He did not touch me on the right side but on the left because he was recently in an accident and could not possibly have moved that arm,

(b) He did not actually do anything and it must’ve been my own hand, and

(c) I put his hand on my crotch myself.

If mom were capable of saying fuck you, she would’ve. Despite her best intentions, she let him walk away with some of his dignity intact.

Now, it was up to me to do what I could to strip him of his reputation. I couldn’t get over how breathtakingly insulting his demeanor was. I started by telling everyone I knew in the Mayur Vihar area about what he had done, requesting them to tell everyone they knew.

Mom and the lady who lives next door went to the Ganesha temple to request that he be taken off the administrative panel. They promised to consider it, but did nothing about it.

Even so, by noon, the news had spread like wildfire. The phone was ringing off the hook, and we had several visitors who sympathized with me and promised to do what they could. Within a few hours, the man had lost his credibility among his social circle – which, at 70+, means a lot.

My brother asked if I was going to report him to the police. I dismissed the idea immediately. How am I going to shuttle between courts and the police station when I have a baby coming out of me? Besides, he’s getting what he deserves – ostracism.

But I was wrong. It took only a few hours for me to realize how easy it would be for this man to just shift to a new house and escape his punishment. By evening, I couldn’t believe I was going to bring a baby into a world where perpetrators of sexual violence can get away with just a slap on the wrist – because I was too lazy to step out of my comfort zone.

I discussed this with mom and Mister at length. If I don’t do this now, I will never be able to teach my kid to stand up for his/her rights. And if someone educated like me will back down because it is inconvenient for me to go to the police, how can I judge those that brush things like this under the carpet was all it took to convince them.

So I wrote to the Delhi Commission for Women (DCW) detailing the incident and asking for legal advice. I am yet to hear back, but I feel lighter because this incident taught me something I would like to teach my unborn child (who will probably be here this time next week to learn it!)

Always do the right thing even if it is bloody inconvenient.

This is going to be my new year resolution. This year, and every year after this one.

And to those of you who were kind enough to share my posts on Facebook, I can’t thank you guys enough! I came across some other women who have had similar experiences with the SAME GUY. They are helping, too.

Really, thank you. You made a difference. A BIG one.

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anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

11 thoughts on “of molestrologers and new year resolutions – part 3”

  1. He will most likely move on and be supported by other males of the same generation. It still seems that Indian society is still more prone to take the man’s account over a woman’s. However, he is beside the point in that this is something you need to do for yourself and for your child. To be able to look at yourself in the mirror and know you did the right thing and you stood up for yourself. If you really want to be able to teach your child that standing up for yourself is the right thing to do, you must do it yourself and as you say, even when it is inconvenient. Thoughts of love and peace for you and your baby.

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  2. “Always do the right thing even if it is bloody inconvenient”.

    Yes, dear woman, I believe in this very much, and occasionally much to enduring pain as a result… Still, for all of those who would ostracize me because I wouldn’t hide darkness nor conveniently slink away, I will always know in my heart that I lived up to my own best hopes for ideals. At the very least, I have that much – and so do you. I hope your words reach many hearts…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well done I would say. . Always do the right thing .. I know it becomes difficult sometimes to do the right thing but hats off if one tries always..

    And once you start don’t back down.. because end of the day truth wins…

    He had the audacity to come to your house .. oh my oh my..

    not sure how the police works in india..its been a long long time since I left the country.. but here I would report to police and let cps take care of it..
    I hope the department replies back and this person is brought to justice..

    My best wishes

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  4. YES, Anawni!!! The right way is not always the convenient way. But only what feels as the right way will make us feel ok when we go it! Backing of leaves nothing but regrets and frustration (unless there is a clear reason). You are an amazing woman and you are doing great things for women’s rights!

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  5. Hi Ana, you did do the right thing and I know it couldn’t have been easy for you. As long as men get away with it they will continue to do it. It isn’t just India where this happens, it is all over. Just look at the Bill Cosby situation. A lot of the women didn’t come forward for many years because they knew they wouldn’t be believed.
    Leslie

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  6. I just saw these posts and boils my blood. Rest assured I’m going to post an ad on OLX declaring that he is selling an iphone6 for Rs5000, then lets see how much people pester him. Bastard, I have no idea how he is even able to justify. Put it up in the newspapers so that this lecherous behaviour doesn’t continue, and I’m sure that he must have tried this out earlier and women in general out of shame must have kept quiet. Try talking to his grand daughter too about this, that if someone were to do this to her wouldn’t she take action, there maybe a chance that she knows something about it…

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  7. Whoa. Doing something about this ‘officially’ is going to take a long time and be painful. I hope it becomes easier for you than these things normally are. Good luck! Your kid will turn out as much of a rockstar as you are. :*

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  8. That’s crazy. Why would a married man do that to you? I’m glad you did something about it and I know by the time you read this post, you already gave life to the world. Congrats. I also want to thank you for following my blog for the past 2 years, it is very much appreciated . As a fellow blogger, I would like to share with you an upcoming art project that God led me to do. How may I contact you? Just expect it in your inbox by February 1. Thank you very much and hope to hear from you at your earliest convenience .

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