Fuck Sensitivity.

Recently, I fed my baby in full public view in a Starbucks outlet, and Mister clicked a picture of us. I loved how we looked in the photo, so I posted it on my real-life (for want of a better word) Facebook account. In fact, it is now my profile picture.

My newly-addicted-to-Facebook-but-not-that-savvy mom was quick to comment that I shouldn’t have posted the picture, which was expected because in her fifty something years, she hasn’t ever seen anyone do this. I politely (I hope) explained that there was a need to normalize breastfeeding so people get used to women nursing in public.  I think my exact words were – Breasts are meant to feed babies, not to sell cement and chips and cold drinks.

So far, life was good.

And then, I got “advice” from several people, which was basically smooth talk asking me to take the photo down because “it’s in bad taste” and because “feeding in public can make some men uncomfortable” and “can’t believe you fed him in a coffee shop where even kids go”.

Seriously?

You think you need to protect children from boobs?! The first fucking human contact that a child has is with breasts – there’s nothing sexual about that contact and your kid knows it. It’s you adults that have it all wrong.

Boobs are meant to nourish, not to lure/entice men OR sell lousy merchandise. The reason why you cringe at the sight of a breastfeeding mother is that you see women and breasts as inherently sexual objects.

Why else would you know so many (a) women with smaller breasts always looking for “push-up” and “maximizer” bras and (b) women with larger breasts forever trying to cover up?

Why else would you be ok with a man going shirtless, nipples showing and all, but recoil at the thought of a woman’s nipples becoming visible (nipslip) even by accident?

And pray, how do you intend to raise awareness about larger issues like breast cancer when you’re so embarrassed by breasts? By posting bra colors in a group restricted to women?

Fuck your sensitivity. My photo’s staying.

NIP
Okay, I went and changed the image. I’m supposed to be a woman without a face, remember?

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anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

96 thoughts on “Fuck Sensitivity.”

  1. Looking good Ana (and baby)! Your problem is an issue here in Canada too. It is the law here that women can breast feed whenever wherever they want , but there are those rednecks who cannot see a woman’s breasts without thinking sex. They still object – but the answer is about the same – fuck them. I was actually visiting Ottawa City Hall a short while ago and there are large signs posted on the entrances saying that women can breast feed anywhere but if they want privacy , there are rooms available. By the next generation those objections will be gone and breastfeeding in public will be normal. 😀

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  2. When I saw your Facebook page had changed to Ana blogs at Anawnimiss I knew that it was only a matter of time before we would get to finally see you. And it’s awesome that you did it in this way. So glad to finally meet you.

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  3. That’s precisely why I’ve refrained from posting any pictures of us nursing on my personal Facebook (ironically I’ll post them to strangers though!) For some reason strangers take to it much better than family. I still get backhanded comments from my mom for breastfeeding past 1!

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  5. It’s just the mind set as yiu say.. so what are you supposed to do .. starve the little child just because you are in a public place..

    I don’t understand the mentality sometimes. .

    Finally we get to see you and the little one tooo.. God bless..

    and yes fuck them who have a problem .. They can get up and go..simples. .

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  8. A beautiful photo, Ana. It’s great to see your other side, which is even better than your WP background photo. Ahem. Anyway, I agree with you. The photo must stay, and people really need to let go of some really outdated viewpoints on the human body.

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      1. You were right! Now I’ve seen both sides and they are wonderful. 😀 Your baby is simply beautiful! I can see in your face that are very happy, and it’s a happiness that only a baby can bring.

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  9. Pingback: My friend, Ana…. – For friends without borders

      1. If I’d been there, I would have told them! I admit that it’s not always easy to know where to look (wanting to encourage breastfeeding, but not wanting to seem like a perv), but that’s MY issue, and not yours, or the baby’s! Keep on feeding x

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  11. Well Done…I breast fed all my children and my last son because there were no buses from where we lived to the nearest shops myself and my friend walked with our prams and on the way back stopped at the swing park and like you didn’t flaunt our boobs but fed our sons discreetly and not a word was said against ..this was ..well he’s 41yrs so a while ago and things were a lot different no boobs flaunted everywhere but breastfeeding ..no one minded or said anything..why the sudden upsurge against it? Politically correct brigade I suspect who always have to have a cause. Carry on young lady, be proud and feed your baby and well done. I am surprised Fb left it up..although some of the things I have seen on there should be taken down..rant over…Have a lovely day 🙂

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    1. Exactly what I don’t understand. Breastfeeding has been the norm for centuries! Why this sudden discomfort? Why should a woman have to think so much before she feeds her hungry baby? Beats me!
      Like Paul said, it’s entirely likely that if we push long enough, people will get used to the sight again.

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      1. I hope so because it’s natural..I just wonder if some people are just baring all and letting the baby latch on one which is not the right . How you did it is how we used to. 🙂

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  13. Gorgeous – and good for you! I wish I had enough confidence to do that. With my first daughter I was so terrified of offending anyone, I usually ended up doing it somewhere ridiculous, or uncomfortable. Finally, now with my third, I’ve *mostly* gotten over it, and I don’t even look around to see if anyone notices. Not one thing wrong with it, anyone who says otherwise shows how small-minded they are!

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    1. Yeah, it does take some getting used to. The first time I nursed in public, I kept checking every three seconds to make sure nothing was visible. Once, I went to the restroom to latch the baby, wrapped us in a stole and then sat down to eat. The baby kicked the hell out of me. I had to uncover him. Since then, I haven’t looked back!

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      1. Yes, you kind of just have to get over it when you have a whiny kid! I never had anyone be rude about it. Once you get the hang of it, it’s rare to have a nip slip, and if you do – to f-ing bad! It’s the most natural thing in the world.

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          1. I used to have this very argument when I was a girl. For a while I refused to wear a shirt, and they just let me go shirtless. 🙂

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          1. It isn’t easy for us to travel at the moment. Maybe someday before that little one gets too big we’ll try to go there. We did miss Bangalore the last time and we have a friend who lives there. So we gave him a phone call. Never enough time.
            Leslie

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  15. Lovely pic and I am very happy that you did what you did.
    I guess people are always trying to categorize things as appropriate/not appropriate. And if looking at a Mom nursing her baby hurt their sensitivity they might as well stay cooped in their “appropriate homes”.

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  18. I wish I were brave enough to do this, but sigh! More power to you for doing what’s right for you and the kiddo. He’s a person too and deserves to be able to eat in public without covering his head!

    P.S: You’re so pretty!

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      1. Heck yeah! People click really crappy food pictures and here you have literally the most beautiful mommy-baby interaction…why wouldn’t you post it? People need to get out of their gutter minds and start finding beauty around them.

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  20. Reblogged this on The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker and commented:
    The illogical, sexist and patriarchal belief that women (and specially their bodies) exist to serve some purpose in men’s lives is brought into focus when we claim discomfort at the sight of something as nonsexual, natural and normal as breast feeding.

    We seem to forget that the primary purpose of a woman’s breasts is to feed a baby. Sexualising women’s breasts is like being embarrassed by eyes ‘seeing’; or feeling uncomfortable by the sight of a woman moving – using her legs!

    Any body part can be sexualised, and once sexualised it ceases to belong to the person it … err belongs to.

    We seem convinced that the sexualised body parts were created for men and society – to view, approve, own, disown, love, hate, honor, decide whether they are obscene or graceful, whether they look more attractive (to men) covered or uncovered, and how much covered or revealed.

    How can this sexualisation be rejected or disallowed?

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  21. It doesn’t even look like you’re breastfeeding. For all one can know, your top shifted slightly and you didn’t adjust it since your baby was so comfortably asleep!

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      1. Haha….people are a confused lot. Herd mentality. If someone approves/disapproves, thwy just have to follow them. No questions asked. No logic applied.

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          3. That takes away the one thing men consider their domain; leering at women and then placing the blame on them for trying to entice! Stopping them from wearing shorts because you can’t control your sick urges. I wonder if even their own family women are safe from such guys. :-/

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  22. oh! fuck them like you said. I have fed both my babies in public so many times that I have lost count. My second one was breastfed till he was 2 and half years old, so go figure! Our job as a mom is to nourish the child, period. All the conservative nay sayers can go to hell.

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    1. Extended breastfeeding ftw! I really really wish I’d have persisted beyond 1 year but life just caught up. I’m all about supporting mommas who go ahead and do it despite all the stupid judgment!

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  24. This is so damn frustrating. Why cant they stop looking at breasts as some sort of sexual stimulation object. Recently a freind of mine was told by her mother in law to hang her undergarments to dry in secrecy or hide them under other clothese meant to dry. This is so that no ther male member in the family feels uncomfortable if they see her coloured bra!

    http://www.meotherwise.com

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    1. I’ve been there, too! My ex’s family used to get super uncomfortable if they caught aglimpse of so much as a bra strap. I used to hang washed undergarments in the bathroom, under a towel. 😐

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  26. When I had visitors when my baby was born, I got ready to take her into the bedroom to feed her. My father (yes, father) stopped me, and said, its ok. You can feed her right here, breast feeding is a natural thing, don’t make it out to be something wrong that you need to hide it.
    I was impressed.
    BTW, back in Chennai, I have seen women breastfeed in public. Thank God for that.

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    1. Quite frankly, your dad’s a rockstar. Mine used to leave the room every time he even thought I needed to feed Z. Then I called him out and said he could just stay put. Now he closes his eyes and tilts his head backward. My brother, thankfully, is a lot less awkward about the whole thing.

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  27. In India I see women breastfeeding in buses, bus stops, metro, trains, market etc etc. And not just women from villages or poor women who we in India generally (and very wrongly) declair as “ganwaar” or simpletons. I’ve seen middle class women too. Also seen elderly or middle aged women go up to mothers with wailing babies and advise them to feed it. I once took care of a woman’s bags in the metro while she paid attention to feeding her baby in the General compartment, where men are always more than women, and there were no other females apart from us two for some distance. I discreetly looked around to see if anyone stares and no one did. All men surrounding us and no one stared, or gave her or me any ‘opinions’. Maybe it was embarrassing for them to look at her or talk to her given India’s culture. But that they chose to look away and not make an issue of it is in my view a good thing! No one likes a baby giving a full throated crying version of Raag Darbari! It’s heart wrenching! I was glad he was being fed and not crying.

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    1. I wish more and more people would just mind their own business when they see a mom feeding her child. I don’t see what the fuss is about anyway! Legs are meant for walking and breasts for feeding!

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  29. Her sis enjoyed the attention that a Love Jihadi gave her. Now she quotes Sharia and talks about women’s modesty. This one craves for attention at every opportunity.

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  30. Oh Ana! You and Baby are utterly adorable! 🙂

    I’m currently in Nepal, and was so very happy to see women breastfeeding in public with no reservations here. On public transit, in restaurants, etc. I’m certainly hoping this becomes the norm everywhere, and soon.

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    1. That sounds wonderful! I can’t imagine what it would be like to feed my baby without inviting any looks. Only yesterday I was at the dentist’s with the baby, and their daughter was in the clinic too. She said – your baby is hungry and wants mommy’s milk. The people around us were so embarrassed! I wonder what would’ve happened if I had started to feed Z. Seriously. I hope things get better here soon!

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  32. Awesome! Needs to be said. I am not flashing you, you moron. My baby’s having food!! To think, someone actually needs to explain this to people. #smh

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  33. iam a man you cant imagine
    belive equality is truth (pure mind must not cry)

    breast is a sex organ.
    That is scientificaly proven.
    then how you can say dont look at boobs sexualy.

    What ever it is .

    Still you not in highlevel .

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