Anawnimiss is dead

I opened my neglected, timeworn blog half-expecting messages that go “where are you” and “hope you’re okay” and “I’m worried for you”. And when I found nothing, I didn’t really know what to do with the knowledge that nobody – not one person – cares if I’m suddenly gone.

It was hard to accept, but after a week of wallowing in self-pity I’ve realized what a jerk I have been all this while, disappearing again and again for months together without a word about where I’m going or why, or if and when I’ll be back.

Here’s the thing – I haven’t said anything because I didn’t know how to explain how I’ve been feeling lately. The illusion of the freedom my anonymity affords me has, over time, degenerated into a bitter, painful sense of isolation from the *real* world where other *real* people live.

Besides, would I choose anonymity if I were a man? I don’t think I would. Like Woolf said, through most of history, anonymous was a woman.

So I’m done with anonymity, and I’m done hiding.

Call me Priyanka, will you?

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Published by

anawnimiss

Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

42 thoughts on “Anawnimiss is dead”

  1. It’s a slippery slope, this blogging thing. I write because it completes me, but still there is that underlying desire to write for others to read and appreciate… and then somehow that becomes intertwined with validity. I’ve always been disappointed/critical of the people in my life who seem to be “too busy” with life and that I can never seem to connect with, but recently I’ve started a new job after essentially being a stay-at-home mom for the better part of 16 years and for the last two months I’ve been struggling to adapt to this new normal. Which has given a new sense of understanding, appreciation, and levity toward those who work full time and still function.
    There is a blog I followed, written by a young woman who was in the process of extricating herself from an abusive relationship, and one day she stopped writing. She hasn’t been back since. It worried me; I reached out with email, but no response. And I’m left to wonder if she’s okay, or even alive. At some point I had to let it go – as she was anonymous herself and a complete stranger.
    There’s no judgement to your timing of blogging, except that which you place on yourself. I enjoy reading your blog when you post. I guess this is a longwinded way of saying that we are all busy, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t interested or don’t care. Nice to see you back, Priyanka. 🙂

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    1. I hear you, Tara. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now, and the thought of abandoning someone, in this case you and the others that read the blog, is something I’m finding easier each passing day, and it’s why anonymity scares me. I can’t imagine vanishing, like the other blogger you talked about. And yet it is very tempting to do that. So I thought that maybe it’s time to step out of the shadows.
      So happy to be back!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You know what? Anonymity truly is more of a women thing…. I am glad you dropped the mask and revealed a bit more of your person. No need to hide because the way you wrote about your life and about you already made you lovable. Glad to have you here and back, Priyanka 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I loved the name anawni a lot…believe. Hey! I was wondering where you’ve been priyanka but I am off FB. Hey! Hope things alrighty with you, dear. I love your picture…it’s amazing and intriguing at the same time. Keep rocking:)

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    1. Things are great, Vishal. I’ve just been extremely lazy about writing, using Z as an excuse to stay away. I’m not very active on social media as Ana. It’s too tiring to live a double social life.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Priyanka, I did miss you and was wondering how you were doing. I know that with a young baby you would be very busy. I hope things are going well with you and your young family.
    Leslie

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  5. Hi Priyanka! Beautiful name. So will you be writing more now? I’ve been kind of out of the blogging world myself for awhile. Nice to have your blog pop up. How’s your baby doing?

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  6. Hello Priyanka how are you doing.. glad to see a post.. I am Bikram…

    Blogging has become a weird world. Anonymous or not anonymous people are funny on blogs .. So don’t take to heart 😎😎..

    I myself have been on and off due to other life commitments and now have stopped wondering if anyone will remember.. but i have realised one thing genuine ones always stay and say hello everytime I make a comeback 😀😀

    How are you and how is little one..and everyone around you…take care and keep writing…😀

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    1. Yes, you’re absolutely right – some people always come back to say hello, and I’m thankful for those few who do. I am doing great, and the little one is happy and healthy and extremely naughty! See you back here soon!

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  7. Hi Priyanka,
    I do check your blog every now and then to see if you have any posts up. I realized that with a little one, it is hard to find time to blog. Sorry, should have dropped a note. How are you? really missed your posts!

    Like

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