of an unsent love letter

Was cleaning up my mailbox today, and found this email addressed to the fiance a long long time ago when we were “just friends”, saved in the Drafts folder in case I ever gathered the courage to click Send.

Made me smile because I never thought these words would ever see the light of day. But again, life has a way of throwing curve balls at you when you least expect them!

I don’t know if I will ever send this to you, but maybe just writing all this down will make me feel better.

Yesterday when those two were walking together holding hands, it sucked that we couldn’t. It felt so unnatural to be walking as ‘just friends’ when we already know that’s not what we are. And after I got home, I was so miserable that you didn’t drop me, but it had to be done. And I couldn’t sleep all night just thinking about how you had looked at me as I stood by the printer. 

I was also thinking about the things I love about you. Here’s a list:

1. You’re funny. 
2. People are always either talking to you or about you.
3. You go all ‘awwww’ when I tell you about my childhood. That I find very cute.
4. You contradict yourself all the time, but look surprised every time I do the same thing. 
5. You have no idea how well you know me. 
6. Things I never will admit to myself, I will admit to you. And I am never embarrassed.
7. You are kind to other people. I really like that.
8. That grin on your face. It’s super cute!
9. The whole jealousy angle. I love it when you look at S with a scowl on your face. You can’t hide it from me 🙂
10. You make me feel safe. I know I can just let things be and you’ll take care of everything.

Anyway. I should get back to work.