of true love

It is a truth universally acknowledged that I love you is something most people in the West tend to avoid saying until they really have to. Not so in India. In India, I love you is usually synonymous with I wanna to do fraandship with you which, in turn, boils down to two things.

(a) The guy wants to get into the girl’s pants (or in the case of some Indians, salwaar).

(b) The poor thing wants a girlfriend so he can look cool, and frankly, any girl that says yes will do.

Not in AP’s case. In his case, a third, and a very rare (for a man) phenomenon was taking place. He thought that because N was nice to him, and they were friends, they must be secretly in love, and therefore it was his moral responsibility to take the first step.

Wondering who AP and N are? Read the first two parts of this story here and here.

To me it seemed like a bad idea for a rotund, balding, criminally emotional man to even bother pursuing a tall, hot, casual sex-having woman. But he didn’t listen, and I was duly appointed messenger to slyly convey his love for her. It wasn’t an easy task.

First, she hated his guts. Fatty Fatterson? Not in this life! When I told AP, he was so crestfallen, he started smoking twice as much as he did, while maintaining a just-friends front for N’s benefit. He would avoid looking at her even as her boobs spilled out of her why-does-she-even-bother sphagetti and her hand reached for her crotch under the waistband of her tinier-than-Ana’s-panties shorts as she lay on the mattress in the living room, watching TV. She often shifted to her side, making her supple (34C) breasts look larger than they were, and some days I could swear I saw AP’s eyes well up. (Well, mine too, but out of my inability to look away. D was either too nice or too careful, but I never caught him staring.)

And then, one day, she started finding him amusing. I can tell you that months of moping can be wiped out with a smile and a You bought me a zippo for my birthday. That’s really sweet, especially when followed up with a lingering feel-my-boobs-yet hug.

She will fall in love one day. I’m telling you she will.

Well, the bugger was right. She did! She actually fell in love.

(But with someone else. More later.)

Have you ever had to play go-between? Have you ever been proxy-approached or proxy-rejected? Ever had a roommate that pranced around practically naked, leaving you embarrassed every time you looked at them? 

Published by


Blogger. Crazy bitch. Stalkee. Weirdo magnet. Wannabe housewife. Corporate Slave. Find me at anawnimiss.wordpress.com!

29 thoughts on “of true love”

  1. If you make us wait another week to publish the next part, I’m seriously going to….do nothing I guess 😛 Maybe I’ll wish for baby Anawni to kick your bladder when you’re in some meeting 😀

    Threats aside, this story is too much fun!


    1. You are vile, woman! Why would you want Peanut (yes, I gave the baby a name) to kick me when I’m already down in the dumps? 😮
      And yeah, this seems like fun if you’re not involved, you know! Just curious – what would you have done if someone decided they wanted to come live with you? Would you say no or let them?


      1. My BFF and I were pregnant at the same time. My baby was sesame and hers was peanut because mine was 2.5 weeks younger than hers 😀 😀

        I’d have said no. You’re just too nice! Several months ago, when my bub was all of 2 months, my BIL got laid off from his job and came over to stay with us until he found a new job and could move. My parents were visiting us to help with the baby and using the guest bedroom. My husband wanted to move our daughter out of her room(in which she’d miraculously started sleeping through the night just a few weeks earlier) and give BIL the room so he could have privacy. I basically laughed him off and nicely gave BIL spare bedding and said he could either sleep in the living room or use the basement. Hubs was mad but I wasn’t about to mess up my life by messing up my newborn’s sleep schedule.


        1. I was a complete pushover ten years ago, but even today I don’t think I have what it takes to say no the way you did! I envy you and other people who can be assertive like this!
          (And sesame, what a cute thing to call an unborn baby! <3)


          1. I’m the official family bitch. But I am an extremely happy person for having made boundaries clear. I’d rather be happy and unpopular than unhappy and popular.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. I’m with you. Happy is so much better than popular!
            I am halfway there. I’ve managed to draw excellent boundaries with Mister’s extended family, but I’m struggling with my own parents. But I’ll get there!


  2. Ayyo, please second partttttt!! This is getting interesting. You know, I used to be this “messenger” for ugly dudes in school, all these dudes were in love with hotties. Imagine my plight. None of it worked out.


    1. Have you heard of the DUFF concept (designated ugly fat friend)? I was the DUFF – except I wasn’t fat. I was the one who was always the “messenger” 😦
      So it’s safe to say I understand your plight.

      Nextr part coming up soon, I promise!


Say something. You know you want to!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s