I’m sure Giggles will kill me for telling you this story, but I’ll tell you anyway coz it’s really funny, and because I really want to.
My old office was the kind of place that sucks the lifeblood out of you, and in return, lets you meet the most unbelievable people you’ll ever know in your life. I met the two most important people in my life there – Mister (though I had met him before, DDLJ-style) and Giggles. (Fartsypants too, but you guys don’t really know him that well yet.)
Before Giggles joined, Mister and I were part of a three-member group that was always coming up with talent engagement ideas, organizing events, and generally upping the cool crowd quotient of an office that was otherwise full of old, lethargic employees.
The third person in the group was a newlywed girl. Let’s call her Peptalk coz that’s what she was always giving other people (and eventually came to need most in her own life).
Peptalk and I were good friends, and she was about to be married to a man she loved, but wasn’t really sure about her decision so she and I used to talk a lot before that – and mostly my advice was about how she should not marry the guy.
But there she was, getting married in a month, when Giggles joined her team. All of us instantly connected – Giggles and I bonded because of our wordplay jokes and fascination with Friends, Peptalk and Giggles bonded because they were the same age and had a lot of similar experiences to share. Mister liked that Giggles was full of energy, and she liked him because he was honest.
Life was perfect.
Until Peptalk went away to get married and then came back one day to find that Giggles had become indispensable for the office and for me. She became increasingly quiet, and started being weird. She’d snap unnecessarily and then storm off and refuse to talk to us.
One day in the winter of 2010, Mister was away on a study leave. Giggles, Peptalk, and I were on a post-lunch conversation break. Peptalk said something, I disagreed vehemently, and we argued for a few seconds when we asked Giggles for her opinion. Giggles agreed with me, and then all hell broke loose. Peptalk told us she had been feeling alienated ever since she had returned. She said Giggles and I were constantly ganging up on her – which was obviously not true. She pretty much screamed at us and stormed out of the room.
I was shell-shocked. Although I had known ever since Peptalk had returned, that she was feeling insecure about her job because Giggles had taken over a lot of responsibility. I saw, in that moment, that Peptalk also felt like she was losing me, her friend, too.
Giggles ran inside after her, trying to talk sense into her.
I decided, instead, to talk to Mister. Let me also remind you at this stage that (a) Mister and I were both married at this stage, (b) none of us had ever thought romantically about each other yet, (c) we weren’t going to, for at least two more years, and (d) I didn’t really care how Peptalk was feeling and only really wanted to gossip, and Mister is a great listener if you feel like gossiping about office folk.
So I called him and called him, and he kept disconnecting. He asked me to text him, which I kept putting off because it was such a tedious thing to do. Later, I gave up and told him to just call me back whenever he could, and I ensured he would be appropriately placing the words “gossip” and “Peptalk” in my text.
Later at night, I went out drinking with some friends. Mister chose that opportunity to call me, which was kinda a waste because I could hear nothing over the music that was playing.
So he texted: What were you saying earlier about Peptalk?
I got this message only about fifteen minutes after he sent it, coz I was drinking and setting the club on fire by dancing salsa style to Pop music. So all I could be bothered to respond with was: Yaar, too much to type. can’t I just tell you later?
May I remind you that I did not have a smartphone at this stage – I only had a Nokia E71, my favorite phone till date. But it is so fucking painful to type using those small QWERTY keys! Also, I had had two drinks by this time and was kinda busy dancing.
Mister sent another message: Come on, use SMSese. I’ll be out this whole week and we won’t be able to talk until I get back. Tell me now or forever hold your peace!
I saw the message instantly, but didn’t want to seem too eager or too gossipy, so I took my time to get another drink, take a few sips, and then responded with this: Peptalk and I had a bad fight. She things Giggles and I are ganging up on her. But the truth is that she is just insecure…
By this time I had had three drinks – which explains why I was starting to send incomplete messages and use ellipses. I heard my phone beep once or twice, but I ignored it.
Two more drinks later, I realized I was being a tease, and I would not appreciate it if someone were to keep me hanging like that. So I typed a full length message that I believe contained the words “Peptalk” and “self-centered” and “not my fucking problem” and “insecure” and “whiny” and “our friendship is over” in more or less the same order. I realized I was pretty drunk, and I’m a bit of a grammar nazi when it comes to other people, so I made sure there were no typos. When I was convinced, I hit Send, flushed, pulled up my pants, and went back to the dance floor, convinced that I had said everything I wanted to.
As soon as I hit the dance floor, I felt my phone vibrate. It was a message from Peptalk: What a bitch!
Apparently, in my drunken stupor, I had texted Peptalk. In an effort to somehow remedy the situation, I simply responded saying: Who? You or me?
Needless to say, it made things worse.
Do you feel the need to be vocal about your feelings when you’ve been drinking? Whom do you text when you’re drunk? How would you remedy a situation like this?