of parking problems

The guy who heads our admin department is a jackass. There, I said it. Putting my anonymity to good use, aren’t I?

Once, I was sitting on the pot inside the ladies’ loo, pooping. To my horror, someone poured water all over my bare behind from a hole in the wall where the exhaust used to be.

I wrote to the admin head about it, and he didn’t even respond. I crossed him twice during the next hour (yeah, I was loitering on purpose) but he didn’t bring it up.

I know. Jackass.

So today I was talking to a new employee who was upset that he didn’t have a parking spot, and a nice email-chain-triggered-by-naked-attacker memory came back.

of the time I checked out my naked attacker

I know I know, it’s been a while and you’ve forgotten all about the naked attacker. Here’s something to jog your memory:

Then suddenly, someone snuck up on me and grabbed me from behind. I went from ooooh, so he wants to make out on the road, that’s forward but I like the idea to he’s still talking, why can’t I hear his voice behind me to so it can’t be him to holy fuck who is this behind me to fuck fuck a naked man’s penis is pressed into my thong-clad ass and I can feel his balls and his unfriendly arm is around my neck what does he want from me within a split second.

Remember now? Awesome. Moving along, then!

So I was late from work another time, about  a month after I was attacked. Imagine my horror when I had to park in the EXACT SAME SPOT as that fateful night.

of my naked attacker

This is a story from about a year ago, which is when I had just moved into the last house I lived in. It was a few blocks away from the mister’s house (which is where I live now). It was also around the same time I started working at this hell hole of an office. In fact, it may have been the first month of my new found love for western formals and high heels.

I was working late that night, so it was 10:30 by the time I got home. I had no energy to cook, so the mister offered to save some food for me. I was to call him when I reached home, and he would bring it to me while he walked his dog. Yes, he’s sweet like that.

Since it was late, I had to park a little far from home, in a dimly lit corner next to a park. I would normally not park that far, but beggars =/= choosers. You know. So I was in the car for about 5 min, putting the gear lock in place, moving all the papers out of the car, putting my pen drive in the bag. I got out, and called the mister. I was going tick-tock-tick-tock as I simpered on the phone. He said something barely borderline-funny, and I laughed really loud. But then, we were newly-beds, so I found ALL his jokes funny.